Untitled

Before you fuck up and call her anything less than her name, before you grab her by the arm you need to know the trigger that you are pulling at. You need to know that the safety is never on. You need to know her history before you tell me that this isn’t my business. You need to know that her history is my history.

See, she and I, we come from the tribe of raw knuckled little girls who call our father by their first names and wear their mothers like bruise coloured war paint under eye. We grew thick skin before we grew permanent teeth. We learned to piece together our own families in the backyards of rented duplexes where we promised plastic faced babies better things in soothing tones that we mimicked from TV. We do not have daddy issues even though our daddy’s have issues. We have piercing eyes and promises to keep. We grew up to be nomads surveying domestic war zones with black eyeliner binoculars, always refusing to camouflage. We threw our heads back and laughed at oncoming explosions, never flinched, absorbing shrapnel, never let them see us cry.

We do not dream of boys who will save us from towers. We dream of boys with courage caked under their fingernails. Boys with hands rough enough to wipe metal tears from our faces but warm enough to mold them into stars. Boys with vertebrae strong enough to lock with ours so they can sleep sitting back to back with us and keep watch. And these are the boys, these are the boys who will find love under our armor. These are the boys who will find that we love selectively but we love fiercely. These are the boys who will learn that we love in ways that leave claw marks down the baseboard before we ever let go.

So do not think she doesn’t know how you fear her absence - you should. Your cage is not stronger than her will or her smile. Do not think you are good enough to tame her. You aren’t. And do not think you are the first to try because i have already closed your eyes and crossed your arms before your body hit the floor. And you think she deserves better than you. You are right. So be better than you.

Be thankful that she knows your name and be careful never to forget hers.

“

—	Rachel Wiley (via odetothemodernman)

Feminists do not want you to lose custody of your children. The assumption that women are naturally better caregivers is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not like commercials in which bumbling dads mess up the laundry and competent wives have to bustle in and fix it. The assumption that women are naturally better housekeepers is part of patriarchy.

[…]Feminists do not want anyone to get raped in prison. Permissiveness and jokes about prison rape are part of rape culture, which is part of patriarchy. Feminists do not want anyone to be falsely accused of rape. False rape accusations discredit rape victims, which reinforces rape culture, which is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want you to be lonely and we do not hate “nice guys.” The idea that certain people are inherently more valuable than other people because of superficial physical attributes is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want you to have to pay for dinner. We want the opportunity to achieve financial success on par with men in any field we choose (and are qualified for), and the fact that we currently don’t is part of patriarchy. The idea that men should coddle and provide for women, and/or purchase their affections in romantic contexts, is condescending and damaging and part of patriarchy.

[…]Feminists do not want you to commit suicide. Any pressures and expectations that lower the quality of life of any gender are part of patriarchy. The fact that depression is characterized as an effeminate weakness, making men less likely to seek treatment, is part of patriarchy.

[…]Feminists do not want you to be drafted and then die in a war while we stay home and iron stuff. The idea that women are too weak to fight or too delicate to function in a military setting is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want women to escape prosecution on legitimate domestic violence charges, nor do we want men to be ridiculed for being raped or abused. The idea that women are naturally gentle and compliant and that victimhood is inherently feminine is part of patriarchy.

Feminists hate patriarchy. We do not hate you.

“

—	If I Admit That ‘Hating Men’ Is a Thing, Will You Stop Turning It Into a Self-Fulfilling Prophecy? (via brute-reason)

sexismandthecity:

It’s patriarchy that says that men are stupid & monolithic & unchanging & incapable.

It’s patriarchy that says men have animalistic instincts & just xan’t stop themselves from harassing & assaulting.

It’s patriarchy that says men can only be attracted by certain qualities, can only have particular kinds of responses, can only experience the world in narrow ways.

Feminism holds that men are capable of more, are more than that.

6 Derailment Tactics Used To Silence Criticism of Hip Hop/Rap

fuckyeahfeminists:

gradientlair:

1) “It’s not the ONLY thing that is misogynist!” Now this one cuts two ways since it is in the vested interest of White supremacy to pretend that rap and Black men, by proxy, are the only men capable of misogyny. This racism is more see thru than Saran Wrap since we live in a White supremacist capitalist patriarchal society. It’s a rape culture. Misogyny is everywhere. HOWEVER, even when a person (especially a Black woman) is providing nuanced critique and she is silenced with the “well ‘everything’ is misogynist, so might as well applaud misogyny in rap” statement, it is unacceptable.

2) “You didn’t critique it ‘before!’” No. YOU did not listen before. Further, to pretend that people were not bothered by certain hip hop or rap songs prior to social media because people did not “see” their tweets since Twitter did not exist or because they did not blog is so ridiculous. There were AOL chats, conversations, papers for school, discussions among friends, and curating choices to find hip hop and rap artists or songs that did not make people feel as attacked. There are writers like dream hampton who provided nuanced critique on hip hop for decades. There are plenty of Black women whose opinions were IGNORED until this Rick Ross moment, and now some people are angry because there are Black men who are ALSO not pleased about Ross and are anti-rape culture as well. Patriarchy, sexism and misogynoir are why Black women’s outrage means less unless Black men are involved as well.

Read More

Don’t hang out with people who don’t love you. Don’t try to impress people who aren’t worth it. Don’t try to win people over who aren’t worth it. Focus on yourself, and focus on the people who are really awesome and who love you. Don’t hang out with people who make you feel like shit. Don’t spend your energy on them. There is so much pressure to be part of the right thing: well, you should create the right thing. If you don’t see it, create it. If you don’t see what you want, be the change you want to see.

“

—	Beth Ditto (via upshot) scarily accurate. (via thegits)

oh-my-godstiel:

iwillmakeyouskinny:

pismaaa:

sadynax:

‘How to offend women in 5 syllables or less’

FOREVER REBLOG.

#Legitprincess

#Cosette and her should have a little talk

It is illegal for women to go topless in most cities, yet you can buy a magazine of a woman without her top on at any 7-11 store. So, you can sell breasts, but you cannot wear breasts, in America.

“

—	Violet Rose (via siarn)

10knotes:

Follow this blog, you will love it on your dashboard

the first time I saw a penis

whatshouldbetchescallme:

“Didn’t you say you were on a diet”….

funniestpostson:

Funniest Posts On Tumblr Here! EPIC!